Step parent adoption in nc?
My husband really wants to adopt my son. My son is 8 and his bio father has never seen him, paid any support, and his name is not even on his birth cert. I tried to serve him papers about 7 years ago for child support and the state could not find him. He has always denied that my son was his, because I cheated on him for revenge because he cheated on me. I was young and stupid. Does anyone know how I should go about this, I dont want to have to look for him, because I think he will hide again. I also am curious if they can make him take a test to see if he is the father and if he is not what will happen then. I dont even remember the other man’s name. I have changed my life around and really want all the bad stuff to go away. My husband really loves my son and my son loves him. Can anyone help!!!!
If you do not know where he is, you can publish a public notice in the paper stating your intent to have your son adopted by his stepfather. If the biofather does not respond to the notice within the given time frame (usually about 30-45 days) then the adoption will move forward as though he consented to it. If you do track him down, you can have him ordered by the court to take a DNA test to prove if he is or is not the father of the child.
If he is proven not to be the father, you would then have to hunt down the other man, and have him take a DNA test, which would be rather hard since you don’t remember his name.
Publishing a public notice makes the stepparent adoption process a little longer, and a little more pricey, but it is worth it in the end.
Most lawyers will give you a free initial consultation, so call around and see if you can make a few appointments with a few different lawyers. Be sure to write down your questions ahead of time, and bring the list with you so that you can be sure to get all of the answers that you are looking for and not get flustered and forget to ask anything that you really want to have answered. After you have visited with a few different lawyers, pick the one that you are most comfortable with and get started on the process!
You will need copies of your birth certificate, your husband’s, and your son’s, copies of your marriage license from each marriage, as well as any custody and divorce decrees relating to the child. Some of these documents can take a few weeks to obtain, so you will want to start on those as soon as possible. Your state may or may not require a homestudy for a stepparent adoption, many states do not require a homestudy for stepparent adoptions, but since adoption laws vary from not only state to state, but the individual counties within each state, that is a question that a lawyer in your area can answer.
Good luck with your stepparent adoption! You can check out the link below for more information on stepparent adoption!
Schoolchildren to Decide Own Sex
Given my age, by now I suppose I should be accustomed to change. I’ve seen a lot of it. Some good, some bad, some absolutely terrible, some fair and some unfair, both stupid and intelligent. You name it, and I thought I’d seen it all.
But, I never thought I would live to see the day when the crazies in the California legislature would actually think it’s a good idea to allow schoolchildren to decide which sex they want to be. Not their sexual preference, mind you, but whether they are male or female, notwithstanding their anatomical makeup.
California’s Senate Bill 777 mandates, “Kids are going to be taught that they have the right to completely ignore their physical anatomy and choose the status of being ‘male’ or ‘female.’” (NC Times Commentary, Just The Facts, by Robert Tyler, general counsel for Advocates for Faith and Freedom, nonprofit religious liberty and pro-family law firm, December 29, 2007).
As Robert Tyler notes, “Ignore your common sense, ignore your chromosomes and ignore your anatomy. This is what your politicians want to teach your kids in school. After all, California’s kids have mastered reading, writing and arithmetic, haven’t they?” To illustrate the potential consequences of the law, Mr. Tyler posed the question, “What will prevent the 250-pound linebacker from deciding he wants to share to share the locker room with the cheerleaders?”
For those who may scoff at this example of the law’s potential impact, “The Los Angeles Unified School District has already adopted policies allowing boys to use girl’s restrooms and locker rooms – and vice versa.” The District’s Reference Guide “even tells teachers they need to refer to students using the student’s preferred pronoun. And of course, it prohibits the teachers from disclosing a student’s chosen gender to the student’s parents.” (The Jawa Report, California Schoolchildren to Decide Their Own Sex, December 31, 2007).
And, the “Los Angeles Unified School District has already implemented a policy that states a boy perceiving himself to be a girl may use the girls’ restroom and locker room. He may also participate in girls’ sports and other female-only activities.” (Testimony by legislative liaison Meredith Turney of Capitol Resource Institute, Newsmax.com, January 11, 2008).
How crazy is this? Children can now declare which sex they are without telling their parents. How, I wonder, does that work at home, or how does a teacher consult with parents whose child has declared they are a different sex without the parents’ knowledge?
SB 777 was passed by the California legislature and signed into law by the governor late last year. It eliminated Education Code 212, which defined “sex” as “the biological condition or quality of being a male or female human being.” This new law redefines the term “gender” for all schoolchildren by adding Education Code 210.7, which reads: “‘Gender’ means sex, and includes a person’s gender identity and gender related appearance and behavior whether or not stereotypically associated with the person’s assigned sex at birth…In short, this redefinition of gender states that you are what you choose to be regardless of your anatomical make-up. (Emphasis added)…. SB 777 also uses this redefinition of gender to forbid educators from discriminating against any individual employee, student or other person based upon that individual’s unspoken claim of being male or female, regardless of his or her actual sex.”
Advocates of this legislation argue that “it’s needed to protect gays and others with non-heterosexual orientations from being harassed in schools. Opponents say it will force teachers and school officials to silence anyone who is morally opposed to homosexuality and allow anyone to claim privileges based on self-defined sexual orientation.” (Dan Walters, Sacramento Bee, December 3, 2007).
My sense is that this will stifle all free expression about sexuality in the schools, that it’s another step along the path of Political Correctness to mass confusion and resentment. And, no doubt it will add to the income of the trial lawyers, who will game the system with litigation to create and/or protect clients’ rights, real or imagined.
In October 2007, state Senator McClintock wrote, “After all, if courts begin ruling that exclusion is indeed a form of discriminatory bias – which is clearly the intent of this bill – there are no groups more excluded or less tolerated in the public schools today than evangelical Christians, orthodox Jews and traditional Catholics.”
The oft quoted observation, “the asylum is being run by the inmates,” seems to describe California’s political system perfectly. If this didn’t have such serious potential consequences, it would be downright laughable.
© 2008 Harris R. Sherline, All Rights Reserved
About the Author
Harris Sherline is a retired Certified Public Accountant and executive. His diverse business background includes experience as a partner in a public accounting firm, as a principal in a number of business ventures and as CEO of a hospital. His conservative commentaries appear weekly in two Santa Barbara newspapers. In addition, he writes editorials for a widely read weblog, which has a world-wide following of about 200,000 readers. His weblog is “Opinionfest.com.”
A Place To Call Home: The Forgotten Children
